"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've
got 'til it's gone..." - Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi
"Appreciate what you have"..."Seize the
day"..."Live every day as if it were your last"...such cliches while everything is going well; such wise advise
once things take a turn for the worst.
Last week I fell and broke my right shoulder. I would like
to say it happened during a dramatic mountain bike accident or while performing
some heroic act like saving a child from an oncoming car. Not so. I just
slipped and fell down my long, narrow, hardwood staircase and landed squarely
on my shoulder at the bottom.
Now my arm is in an uncomfortable, itchy, ill-fitting sling
and nine days into it, I'm still waiting for a coherent treatment plan to emerge.
It seems that orthopedists are all very busy these days and my injury is
considered a minor one...Thank heavens for medical insurance. If I didn't have
Blue Cross and Blue Shield backing me up, I'm sure no one would care and I'd be
in this nasty ole' sling for months.
Some people are comfortable in the roll of patient; others, I
say, based on years of experience as an emergency room social worker, relish
it. They recite their list of ailments, surgeries, accidents and medications as
if it were the only litany their lives will ever generate. I, on the other hand,
hate doctors, their offices and hospitals with an unreasonable fervor. I don't
know why this is. I don't remember any childhood trauma that could've made me
this way. It's just the way I've always been.
As a child, I was well-blessed and lucky to never have been seriously
hurt. As a young woman, I opted to have my kids at home (under the watchful eye
of two experienced midwives and with my MD a phone call away) rather than go to
the hospital. As a mother and now aging adult, I have always paid great care to
keeping me and mine healthy. And, now that my kids are grown, I am proud to say
they are not only health-oriented, but a bit doctor-phobic, as well. It's not
that medical care doesn't have its place. It's just that self help, healthy living and the willingness to ride out a fever
can serve one pretty well, too.
I am not naive enough to think that good luck and the
watchful eye of the Good Lord haven't had a hand in my family's many doctor-free
years. I don't know why some families are blessed with good health, while
others are challenged time and time again with illness, cancer, accidents and
disease. There's no making sense of it. We can only remain thankful for the good
times and trust He is with us in the bad...
Back to this shoulder - there is no question it has ruined my
Fall plans. Now that the weather is nice again, I had
long lists of yard projects, garden work, hikes, bike rides and little trips
here and there, all spinning around in my head. So much to do! Where to begin? Now
my list is the same every day: "Try to do what needs doing using one arm
and one hand." Since Mr. Clark works out of town all week, this is a
special challenge. Thanks to good friends with generous hearts and willing
hands, I am making do, but by the end of the day, it's easy for the pity party
to begin...
In spite of myself, this shoulder is also teaching me some
valuable lessons. Humility and patience have never been my strong suits. I
value independence above many things, which means I don't accept help readily
or gracefully. I like control and feeling like I'm in the driver's seat. It's
not easy for me to roll with the punches, take things as they come or ask for
help. Thanks to this shoulder, I am learning to be a more humble, more patient
and more accepting of what fate throws my way. I am also learning to accept
help readily and with sincere thanks.
Based on my Google research (in lieu of responsive
orthopedic care...) I've got a long row ahead of me. If this bugger needs
surgery, well, there's that...if not, life in a sling long term is no picnic,
either. It sounds like either way, I'll be lucky to hang any ornaments on my
Christmas tree this year. But, no matter. By the time
the holidays roll around, I like to think the lessons "Shoulder" has
taught me will be worth the price I paid to learn them.
Lorin Sinn-Clark is a writer for the Barrow
Journal. She can be reached at lorin@barrowjournal.com
