Which Muppet are you?

 

 

 

"Life's like a movie, write your own ending." - Kermit the Frog

The Muppets are back and this time it's not in a television show or a movie. It's in a personality theory. Dahlia Lithwick, a senior editor at Slate magazine and contributing editor for Newsweek, has come up with something she calls Unified Muppet Theory and for those of us who love the Muppets (and/or who love personality theories) it's pretty interesting stuff.

She poses that each of us can be classified as either an Order Muppet or a Chaos Muppet, and once we figure out which we are, "it all sorts itself out from there."

Order Muppets are highly regimented, hyper-organized, adverse to surprises and tend to be a bit neurotic. Examples would be Bert, Kermit the Frog and Beaker. At times Order Muppets resent the weight of the world on their shoulders, (think Kermit's "It ain't easy being green...") but they also know they keep the show going and in that they take not so secret pride.    

Chaos Muppets are brilliant, emotional, volatile and often out of control. They are the life of the party, examples being Cookie Monster, Ernie, Grover, Gonzo and Professor Honeydew.

As with all things, in Muppet Theory, balance is the key. Harmony, whether it be in a relationship, a marriage, a family or the workplace comes when there is a blend of Chaos and Order Muppets. Too much order? Things get rigid and stuffy; creativity is lacking, humor, too...Chaos rules? Good luck getting anything done because that's just one hot (even if hilarious) mess.     

For the most part, I'd identify myself as an Order Muppet, all into control, routine, habit, with more than my fair share of neuroses, and no surprises, please! If good marriages are made when opposites attract, that would make Mr. Clark a Chaos Muppet. And, while he is not emotional or volatile, he is often unorganized. He is more brilliant than me. He is always open to an unforeseen adventure or a surprise change in pace. He has also been known to be the life of more than one party.   

Since marriage goes on forever (or so it seems...) there is plenty of time for surprises and twists and turns in the road. After years of keeping order and routine in our home (at least, that's what I thought I did...) I have become the Chaos Muppet who seems to have the attention span of a gnat and can't seem to get anything done, while Mr. Clark has become the Order Muppet who keeps us both on track.

He's taken to determining what we do on weekends, in terms of balancing chores with pleasure. He keeps our ongoing "get the house in order" campaign on track and does the same with the garden and yard. Things I find to be insurmountable (like cleaning never before cleaned closets) he tackles cheerfully and actually gets the job done. All I have to do is take out the bags of trash, deliver a few things to Goodwill and sweep up after him. In classic Chaos Muppet style, I melt down emotionally a few times and yell a bit, while Mr. Clark just keeps whistling, clearing and cleaning. It's a blend of Chaos and Order that would make even the Muppets proud.

I can only hope on down the road we'll swap roles and mix things up again, just to keep things interesting. In the meantime, I'll keep channeling Cookie Monster (with a touch of Miss Piggy thrown in), while Mr. Clark acts like a combination of The Swedish Chef and The Count...Wait a minute! We didn't figure out which type of Muppet Miss Piggy, The Swedish Chef or The Count is.

Maybe Muppets, like people, defy stereotypes or maybe Muppet Theory is more complex than it initially seemed. Is it possible to be Faux Chaos - all crazy, creative on the outside, but hard, rigid and inflexible inside? What about Almost Order, which would be organized and together on the outside, yet also a little nuts? Obviously, there's a lot more work to do on this Unified Muppet Theory...In the meantime, so far, what kind of Muppet are you?