it's good to be a princess...or an archer...or both.

"I am Merida, and I’ll be shooting for my own hand!" - Princess Merida in the Disney movie "Brave"

I named my daughter Amelia after Amelia Earhart because I believe there is power in a name and I wanted her to have a brave, adventurous spirit that would follow its own dreams and not listen to a world that said "No!" if she wanted to do something unique, unusual or not yet done by a woman. That was 1981, and while women had made great strides, there were (and still are) plenty of barriers to be broken and much to be accomplished before men and women are considered true equals.  

Like many little girls, my daughter loved Disney movies - in particular, she loved Disney princesses. There is just something about all that pale blue, pink and purple, those overly large doe-eyes, all that fabulous unruly hair and those wonderful dresses that draws a little girl in and holds her hostage for a few years.

The Disney princesses back in my daughter's day were clever, brave, kind, mischievous and a bit rebellious - all things I hoped my daughter would be. Their stories, however, were inextricably tied to the men in their lives. Their acts of bravery and rebellion, the lessons they learned and all of the trials they went through before gaining their "Happily Ever After" had to do with earning their father's respect, or rebelling against their father, or missing their father; and, there was also the matter of finding Prince Charming and winning his heart.  

These were not the most self-directed princesses. There were no plans for education or lofty goals for the future. Once peace was restored to the kingdom and they were happily wed, those princess' work was done and their stories faded away.   

I did not want my daughter's life script to include the idea that the cornerstone of her motivation was to gain the emotions she wanted from the men in her life. While I'm all for romance and true love, I hoped she would follow a bunch of stars before settling down and finding her "Happily Ever After." And, I wanted her to choose that "Happily Ever After" herself; I didn't want fate, a kiss or the breaking of some magic spell to choose it for her.

As it turned out, her story has a happy ending. My Amelia grew up with many of the traits I admired in those princesses, yet she set a course of her own, accomplished her dreams and didn't let the need for male approval guide her actions. She then married her own Prince Charming, who ended up being her high school sweetheart and, I believe, her one true love. No fade out there...they are still writing their stories together with dreams yet to dream and challenges yet to face.           

Flash forward to this summer, when our nieces, ages 10 and 12, came to spend a month with us. Since I hadn't had kids this age in the house for awhile, what was the first thing I turned to in my search for common ground and a way to relate? A Disney princess, of course.

One of the first things we did together was see "Brave," Disney's latest movie with a princess heroine. She is Merida, a skilled archer with a head of particularly spectacular red hair and a mind of her own. She is determined to carve out her own path, no matter the cost. Since it's Disney, the plot includes her hand being offered in marriage, only this movie offers a twist. When the princes in the kingdom come to compete for Merida's hand, she defies tradition, declares archery the contest, shoots for her own hand and wins.  

This creates a big stir which involves a witch, a magic potion and some very impulsive and poor decision making on Merida's part. But, the ending is happy and includes a new decree which allows young people in the kingdom to marry whom they wish. The nieces liked that ending and so did I.  

Another brave heroine functioning off her own script this summer is Katniss Everdeen, from Suzanne Collins' "The Hunger Games" books.  Like Merida, she is a skilled archer, independent thinker and uninterested in boys or male approval. Also like Merida, she is not much of a people pleaser, which, at times, has difficult consequences.

Katniss' story involves being one of 24 young people picked by the clearly evil, ruling regime to fight to the death in the annual Hunger Games. And, without revealing the ending, I can say, she sets a pretty awesome and inspiring example for girls and young women - so much so, that when I told the nieces we would set up an archery range and start shooting together, their faces lit up like the flames Katniss, "the girl who was on fire," was famous for.

We shot almost every night and the girls seemed to really enjoy "channeling their inner Katniss," as they called it. Life can be hard, scary and confusing for a girl trying to grow into an empowered woman. Self-esteem is critical, as is self-direction. I'm glad the princesses and heroines these days set that example, for as Katniss said, "As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve."