Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Bronte
OR
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Valentine’s Day has always been awkward for me; I feel the same about New Year’s Eve. It’s like everyone is feeling festive, romantic and special and there I sit, all Hallmark-carded-up with no place to go and no one waiting for me…It’s not that Mr. Clark and I don’t love each other. We do, very much so, and have for 38 years now. It’s just that our love is the slow burning, steady kind - built over time, no fireworks in the sky.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big believer in “true love” - my theory is that there are two types. One is the kind Mr. Clark and I share. It’s steady and solid – those two St. Exupery souls looking ahead together, rather than staring into each other’s eyes. The other is the soulmate kind – a love that was always intended and simply has to be. This is Browning’s love, the love Shakespeare wrote about and Soloman sang about - the love novels, poems and songs salute. Those couples can and actually do spend hours staring into each other’s eyes – sharing a love the rest of us can only dream about.
My maternal grandparents were soulmates. They found true love at the age of 13 and 14. He had just finished eighth grade and was off to make his way as a farmer in Eastern Kansas. Since she was a year younger, he waited for her to finish school, then asked her to marry him. They started what turned into their grand adventure together on Valentine’s Day, 1928.
During their 72 years together, their small farm grew into a big one. They raised four children and were blessed with eight grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren before my Grandpa died. Since they were farmers and so much in love, there wasn’t a single day they didn’t spend together – living, laughing and working side by side. Even as a kid, I could see something special in their relationship, something that, as much as my parents loved each other, their relationship lacked.
My Grandpa died 15 years ago, the day after Valentine’s Day. He was in the hospital and things were grim. My Grandma said one of the last things he said was, “I’ll stick with you, Kid, until after our special day.” And, he did. She is 101 now and still misses him fiercely. She says sometimes she feels his hand lightly on her shoulder or hears him whisper “Kid!” softly in the night…And, as much as she’s enjoyed living, she says she’s ready to go home to him.
My son-in-law’s grandparents have an equally sweet story of true love and a long life spent together. She says she fell in love with him when he was in the third grade and she was in the second. It was Show-and-Tell Day and he brought a duck to school. Something about the sight of him in his short pants, hair all slicked back, holding that duck so proudly on the school stage earned him her heart right there and then. They enjoyed nearly 60 years together before he passed away and he, too, remains sorely missed.
I was a wedding photographer for a few years, so I captured many couples’ “Special Moments” during their “Special Day.” Some really do seem like soulmates; others are a solid match. Most wedding days are festive and fun, but the soulmate celebrations were my favorite. There’s a magic in the air, as if a long-dreamt dream is finally coming true. Those couples breathe, dance, laugh and move in complete unison and with such ease – it’s amazing and beautiful and something the rest of us, happily married as we may be, can only wistfully wonder at.
My daughter and her husband are soulmates - I’m sure of it. They met in a high school art class. He was a senior; she was a freshman. He tried to set her up with his best friend, then realized that she belonged with him. They went to his senior prom, her senior prom and made it through the long distance college years. They married the summer after she graduated and theirs is a truly happy romance. She lives for him, he lives for her and they have so much fun together - in nearly 18 years, they’ve never had a fight.
It’s a blessing to have enjoyed true love – the St. Exupery or Browning kind – whether for a long while or briefly. And, it’s a blessing to have Mr. Clark at my side. But, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “All mankind love a lover” - maybe even more so on Valentine’s Day. Here’s to a full heart and true love, whatever form it comes in – whether it be gazing into your soulmate’s eyes or sipping red wine, savoring dark chocolate and watching a movie that gives you a happy cry.
No comments:
Post a Comment