Introverted? Who, me?

"I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity." - Albert Einstein

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? To confirm what you probably already know, go to NPR.org and search for "Susan Cain's Quiz." Cain just wrote a book about the introvert/extrovert spectrum called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.  I heard an interview with her and it was pretty interesting - especially for an introvert like me.

Cain describes introversion as "having a preference for lower stimulation environments, a preference for quiet, for less noise, for less action." She says extroverts "crave more stimulation in order to feel at their best." And, while it's not a question of which end of the introvert/extrovert spectrum is better, she makes the point that extroverts are widely considered to be on top culturally.

She talks about the history of the concepts of introvert/extrovert (Carl Jung coined the terms in the '20's) and describes how the general trend towards city life, rather than rural life, has made us more competitive, outgoing and social. Add the rise of movies (and movie stars), TV (especially reality TV), and now Facebook and Twitter, and what we have is a culture that almost requires one to be an extrovert - or at least act like one - to succeed. Our emphasis has shifted from character to charisma. (If you doubt this, take a look at the presidential race...)    

The workplace has become tailored to the extrovert with the norm being a cubicle in a group workplace, an emphasis on group work processes and a focus on collaborative effort. (One example Cain cites is the average work space per employee in the '70s was 500 square feet; now it is 200.) Her point is not to bash extroverts, but to say that our culture has become lop-sided in their favor and perhaps a refocus on the power of personal thought and a quieter social style would not be a bad thing. 

Cain makes it clear that introverts are not depressed or antisocial - they simply prefer quieter situations, fewer people and less stimulation than extroverts. She describes us as "differently social" and makes the argument that being an introvert is not a problem we need to overcome. (She defines shyness as a "fear of negative social judgment," which means both introverts and extroverts can be shy.)  

I have always been an introvert, but until I took Cain's quiz I had no idea how introverted I was. (I scored 17 out of 20 on the "Quiet Quiz," meaning I only answered three questions like an extrovert.) Some of the characteristics that we introverts share are that we find socializing, even pleasant socializing, to be exhausting. The introvert formula of two hours alone for every hour of socializing suits me perfectly. We introverts like people well enough; we also need our time alone to keep our brains and batteries charged.

We introverts value privacy and get pretty bent out of shape when our personal boundaries are violated. (Things like someone having a loud cell phone conversation in the same line I am in can really melt me down.) We are also territorial about having our  things moved, having to sit in other than our "usual" seat and people getting in our personal space. And, don't barge in on an introvert who is working behind a closed door; we really don't like being interrupted.   

Introverts almost always let the machine pick up or let the call go to voice mail; we prefer to communicate in writing. An intimate conversation about "things that really matter" is always preferable to unfocused, chit-chatty small talk. Introverts don't like multi-tasking; we like to focus, take our time and feel prepared.

It seems like a contradiction, calling myself an introvert while pouring my heart, soul and hard-thunk thoughts out in this column every week; but it's not. Here I sit, at my desk at home - the only noise is my dogs snoring. Thanks to the answering machine, voice mail and e-mail, there are no interruptions. And, because I work at home, no one is going to move my things, sit in my chair or ask me to multi-task. Perfect conditions for an introvert...

Another contradiction could be my willingness to cover social events for the paper. While the concept of them is nightmarish, I actually enjoy them. Like an anthropologist, I get to hide behind my camera and notepad, and take it all in without participating. And, what I observe is fascinating. The extroverts are truly in their element - laughing, chatting, working the room, clearly enjoying themselves and having a genuinely good time. Imagine that...!    

If someone gave me the choice of giving up my solitary ways and joining the crowd, if by some miraculous transformation I could go from introvert to extrovert, I'm not sure what I'd say. After all, it's an extroverts' world...guess I'll go take a long walk alone and think about that.