"I am Merida
I saw the most wonderful Facebook post the other day. It was of a little girl’s “Frozen” theme birthday party. There were seven small Elsa’s, all dressed in her beautiful blue gown, all wearing her sparkly tiara, all holding magic freezing wands and all obviously having the time of their lives.
They were lined up in front of a limousine on the Chateau Elan lawn and they were lovin’ it. The photos showed them dancing and parading, hugging, whispering, giggling and even wrestling on the ground, gowns disheveled, grass in their hair. It hasn’t always been okay for a princess to behave that way and I’m so glad the breeze that ruffled those precious princesses’ hair was blown by the winds of change.
I’ve always had a special place in my heart for the Disney princesses. I loved them when I was growing up and my daughter loved them when she was small. There’s just something about all those pastel colors, those big doe-like eyes, that fabulous unruly hair and those wonderful dresses that draws a girl in and holds her hostage for a few years.
I named my daughter Amelia, not after a Disney princess, but after a heroine - Amelia Earhart. I believe there’s power in a name and I wanted my girl to have a brave, adventurous spirit that would follow its own dreams and not listen when the world said "No!" if she wanted to do something unique, unusual or not yet done by a woman. My Amelia was born in 1983, and while women had made great strides down the path towards gender equality, there were still plenty of steps to be taken.
The Disney princesses in my day were well mannered, docile and eager to please. Their only goal was to find true love’s kiss, marry Prince Charming and live “Happily Ever After.” Thankfully, the princess role had expanded considerably by the time my daughter became enchanted.
She grew up dressing up like clever, brave, kind, mischievous young women who were a bit rebellious and able to think independently. Their stories still, however, were inextricably centered on the men in their lives. Their acts of bravery and rebellion, the lessons they learned and the trials they went through, all had to do with earning their father's respect or rebelling against the bad guy or finding true love. Even though their “Happily Ever After’s” were not easily won, they still faded into the sunset once they found true love’s kiss and became Mrs. Charming.
That’s why I’m happy to see the latest brand of Disney princesses and movie heroines. In “Brave,” Princess Merida embodies all of the things we know and love about princesses PLUS she is a skilled archer with a head of particularly spectacular red hair and a mind of her own. Not much of a people pleaser, she’s determined to carve out her own destiny, no matter the cost. And, what a wonderful twist to the story when she wins her own hand by out shooting everyone in the archery match where she is the prize. Her father then proclaims (at her request) from that day forward, people in the kingdom can marry whomever they wish. Now that’s a happy ending…
Another heroine functioning off her own script is Katniss Everdeen in “The Hunger Games.” Like Merida, “the girl on fire” is a skilled archer, independent thinker and much too busy to care about male approval. Katniss is brash - a fighter, not a lover – and, so self-directed and self-sufficient that she repeatedly saves herself, her friends, her family and the entire day.
In “Frozen,” the most recent Disney princess hit, Elsa and Anna are orphaned sisters with virtually no men to please in their lives. Princesses who live in an icy land, their adventures center on Elsa’s ability to freeze things (even her sister, Anna’s heart) whenever Elsa loses emotional control. While there is romance, true love and a “Happily Ever After, the plot focus is on the sisters and their relationship.
Elsa’s anthem – now apparently the anthem of little girls everywhere - is “Let it go!” most often sung unabashedly and at the top of their lungs, arms outstretched, while twirling in 3-D. What Elsa is letting go of is fear’s control over her life; she’s also learning to accept her sister’s unconditional love. Pretty good messages for princesses in any day or time…
Life can be hard, scary and confusing for any princess who is trying to become an empowered woman. Self-esteem is critical, so is self-direction and the ability to take care of oneself. Believing on one’s own perception of the situation is also useful more often than not.
I'm glad the heroines those seven little princesses at the “Frozen” birthday party will grow up with are broader, bolder, more complex and more self-directed than the princesses my daughter and I grew up with. As Katniss Everdeen said, “Fire is catching!” and the world can always use a few more empowered heroines and princesses.
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