No they're not...Happy Leap (Year) Day!

"chaos is the score upon which reality is written." - henry miller

"That's Whit, Mama!"

"As I lay me down, Heaven, hear me now. I'm lost without a cause after giving it my all...'Bout to lose my breath; there's no more fighting left. Sinking to rise no more; searching for that open door. Every road I've taken led to my regret...Don't know if I'm gonna' make it...." -  lyrics, Whitney Houston, "I Look To You," 2009    

I am having a hard time letting Whitney Houston go, which surprises me because usually I'm not much of a (Hollywood) star gazer. Part of it has to do with the fact that Whitney  provided much of the sound track for a very happy time in my life.

It was the mid-'80s through early '90s and life was good. I was happily married, still hot, and the mother of two cute, wonderful, music-loving children. I was gainfully employed  serving humanity at the Planned Parenthood Clinic in Boulder, CO (only birth control, no abortions there) and my co-workers were an inspiring, spirited, dedicated bunch of single women, young mothers and old feminists. 

Whitney burst onto the scene in 1985 - fresh, feminine, talented, fashionable and oh! that voice. After coming up under the tyranny of old school feminism which meant no bras, no hose, no leg shaving, no makeup, no hair styles, Houston was the breath of fresh air young women like me needed. She was sweet, yet sexy; pretty, yet powerful; innocent, yet knowing; savvy and successful.

No wonder we instantly embraced her hair styles, makeup, moves and learned all the words to her songs. She inspired us; she moved us; she (after the hard work of the feminists was accomplished) set us free. Finally, we had a reason to shave our legs, wear high heels, pastels, tight clothes and perm our hair again! I remember those days vividly.

Me and my kids danced to Whitney's songs while I made dinner or fixed breakfast or for no reason at all. I crimped my daughter's hair and put big bows in it, a la Whitney, and, yes, will admit, did the same things to my own hair.

Houston's songs were featured on our "work day play list" at the clinic. I remember one day a little girl and her mother were sitting in the waiting room and one of Whitney's songs came on. The little girl hopped up, cried, "That's Whit, Mama!" and started dancing with such joy, enthusiasm and abandon I felt sure she, like "Whit," would be a big star someday. Could that have been Jennifer Hudson or Alicia Keyes in our waiting room? Probably not, but it's a lovely thought to entertain...

After the clinic closed, we would crank up and dance to "Whit's" debut hit, "How Will I Know?" as we cleaned, mopped the floors and emptied the trash. It seemed appropriate; after all, at a Planned Parenthood clinic in a college town, how did anybody know...?

And, so, thanks to M-TV (does anyone remember those videos?) and her marvelous voice, we ALL fell in love with Whitney Houston. There was a joy, clarity and power in her voice that, given her Gospel background, seemed to be a gift straight from God. And, the joy she clearly took in sharing that gift, well, another blessing, right there.

In those days, she was the talented, yet accessible goddess/diva we all wished we had been born to be - huge voice, beautiful body, warm open smile, and having so much fun in such a mischievous way...

There was "I Wanna' Dance With Somebody (I Love)," "Saving All My Love For You," "Greatest Love of All," "Where Do Broken Hearts Go," "Didn't We Almost Have It All," "I'm Your Baby Tonight," and, of course, who hasn't shed a tear and wished for a love so true as her inspired 1992 performance of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" in the film "The Body Guard?" One voice, three octaves, magical...

In those days, she was the diva divine and then came the spiral, the substance abuse driven downward spiral into destruction and despair that ultimately took her voice, her talent and her life. Why does this happen to so many artists? How does so much joy turn into so much sorrow? 

"Whit" died on Feb. 11, unconscious in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton Hotel; she was 48. The probable cause of her death was an unfortunate cocktail of prescription drugs, stress and/or depression, plus alcohol...A line I read and remembered in the massive media coverage that followed her death was, "She broke hearts and was herself broken."

That, to me, is another part of Houston's appeal, for who among us hasn't broken a heart or two and yet also been broken? She was perfect; she was flawed; she inspired us. So, rest in peace, "Whit," and may your voice find it's rightful place among the angels' voices in Heaven; God speed.  

Lorin Sinn-Clark is a writer for the Barrow Journal. She can be reached at lorin@barrowjournal.com.

rain, rain...please go away!"

Introverted? Who, me?

"I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity." - Albert Einstein

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? To confirm what you probably already know, go to NPR.org and search for "Susan Cain's Quiz." Cain just wrote a book about the introvert/extrovert spectrum called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.  I heard an interview with her and it was pretty interesting - especially for an introvert like me.

Cain describes introversion as "having a preference for lower stimulation environments, a preference for quiet, for less noise, for less action." She says extroverts "crave more stimulation in order to feel at their best." And, while it's not a question of which end of the introvert/extrovert spectrum is better, she makes the point that extroverts are widely considered to be on top culturally.

She talks about the history of the concepts of introvert/extrovert (Carl Jung coined the terms in the '20's) and describes how the general trend towards city life, rather than rural life, has made us more competitive, outgoing and social. Add the rise of movies (and movie stars), TV (especially reality TV), and now Facebook and Twitter, and what we have is a culture that almost requires one to be an extrovert - or at least act like one - to succeed. Our emphasis has shifted from character to charisma. (If you doubt this, take a look at the presidential race...)    

The workplace has become tailored to the extrovert with the norm being a cubicle in a group workplace, an emphasis on group work processes and a focus on collaborative effort. (One example Cain cites is the average work space per employee in the '70s was 500 square feet; now it is 200.) Her point is not to bash extroverts, but to say that our culture has become lop-sided in their favor and perhaps a refocus on the power of personal thought and a quieter social style would not be a bad thing. 

Cain makes it clear that introverts are not depressed or antisocial - they simply prefer quieter situations, fewer people and less stimulation than extroverts. She describes us as "differently social" and makes the argument that being an introvert is not a problem we need to overcome. (She defines shyness as a "fear of negative social judgment," which means both introverts and extroverts can be shy.)  

I have always been an introvert, but until I took Cain's quiz I had no idea how introverted I was. (I scored 17 out of 20 on the "Quiet Quiz," meaning I only answered three questions like an extrovert.) Some of the characteristics that we introverts share are that we find socializing, even pleasant socializing, to be exhausting. The introvert formula of two hours alone for every hour of socializing suits me perfectly. We introverts like people well enough; we also need our time alone to keep our brains and batteries charged.

We introverts value privacy and get pretty bent out of shape when our personal boundaries are violated. (Things like someone having a loud cell phone conversation in the same line I am in can really melt me down.) We are also territorial about having our  things moved, having to sit in other than our "usual" seat and people getting in our personal space. And, don't barge in on an introvert who is working behind a closed door; we really don't like being interrupted.   

Introverts almost always let the machine pick up or let the call go to voice mail; we prefer to communicate in writing. An intimate conversation about "things that really matter" is always preferable to unfocused, chit-chatty small talk. Introverts don't like multi-tasking; we like to focus, take our time and feel prepared.

It seems like a contradiction, calling myself an introvert while pouring my heart, soul and hard-thunk thoughts out in this column every week; but it's not. Here I sit, at my desk at home - the only noise is my dogs snoring. Thanks to the answering machine, voice mail and e-mail, there are no interruptions. And, because I work at home, no one is going to move my things, sit in my chair or ask me to multi-task. Perfect conditions for an introvert...

Another contradiction could be my willingness to cover social events for the paper. While the concept of them is nightmarish, I actually enjoy them. Like an anthropologist, I get to hide behind my camera and notepad, and take it all in without participating. And, what I observe is fascinating. The extroverts are truly in their element - laughing, chatting, working the room, clearly enjoying themselves and having a genuinely good time. Imagine that...!    

If someone gave me the choice of giving up my solitary ways and joining the crowd, if by some miraculous transformation I could go from introvert to extrovert, I'm not sure what I'd say. After all, it's an extroverts' world...guess I'll go take a long walk alone and think about that.
 

"the poor choices pile up late in life..." - me

"you get happier as you get older if you do things right..." - ani di franco

happy birthday roland